3. The Princess is still the frog.

It seemed that our very own Princess had mastered all the gifts and learnings she had received from the animal and enchanted realm (Go back to The Princess is the Frog. Evolution. to find out what had happened before). She had improved herself in every way, acting only when she believed it was right for her. And only the way she wanted to. And thus she grew a light so bright incredible things started to appear in her life. Things, and people were attracted to it. And thus new and old Princes crossed her path.

And yet the pattern had changed. When she looked upon them, instead of protecting herself by seeing only the bad in them, she saw only the good. And she discovered of how easy it was to focus only on the beauty and the attractive part of someone’s personality. She liked it very much, and in return everyone would tell her of her attractive qualities. Qualities she didn’t even know she ever possessed.

And maybe, hopefully, people liked hearing her tell them of their attractive qualities. Maybe they didn’t know they possessed them either.

And yet. No matter the multitude of beautiful souls and enchanting encounters, fate had it that she sometimes found herself in the company of her last Prince Charming. And no matter how happy she truly was to see him, her tongue would sharpen and her words turned her into the poisonous Frog she tried so hard to fight.

And it seemed, even if he was at first glance the bright and Charming Prince he was when she first met him, at second glance he too would look quite… Green.

Was it because her words and acts where harsh? Or had he been the first one to trigger the animosity?

Who had behaved worse in the first place?

The Princess didn’t know.

But it seemed to her, he was the gentleman. And so he should do the gentleman thing and start behaving like a true Prince again. Why didn’t he?

Then again, why wasn’t she behaving like a gracious Princess either?

And so our Frog Princess wished there was a Princess’ manual. Like a sort of handbook that could tell her how to deal with every fairy-tale gone wrong situation she could ever be faced with.

If only it were that simple…

And so the frog princess often pondered. Like a pondering thing in a pond.

Maybe she should be the one writing the manual. And what would she write about since she didn’t have the answers?

I suppose she did have the answer to a couple of things. Like those other Princes crossing her path. How easy it was to see the beauty of them but not feel for them and knowing instantly she never will. That was a new distinction she had previously never made. Suitors does not mean suited.

Unfortunately the new suitors didn’t seem to make that distinction. And so she had mastered the way of tiptoeing around them so as to not hurt their male egos. Often at the cost of her own ego it has to be said. But oh well, as often, she found that she could take bruising much better than men could.

That was one thing she could write in a Princess’ manual she thought. But I suppose that clearly wasn’t enough or even nearly satisfying.

Quite the contrary, the hole in her ribcage was back. She didn’t know why or even how. But it was pressing. As if an urgent matter she needed to take care of right now.

But what?

If it was about the last Prince Charming, there was nothing she could do truly. Nothing seemed to change every time they met, no matter how hard she wished it so. Nothing was making her forget and yet nothing was making her hate him either, and so she stayed in this status quo phase of nothingness.

If only…

If only she had the guts to say… Something. Anything… Maybe something that would start with I’m sorry and end with Thank you. And in between maybe a bit of: I heard you went back to another Princess, I wish you all the happiness in the world. You deserve it. I think. No, I’m sure. I’m sure. I want. I hope. I don’t know. I know nothing. You tell me.

But it’s hard to talk to someone’s back.

So for now, nothing.

And yet no matter what, something echoed very strongly inside of her: “EVERYTHING IS OK. You are a perfect expression of perfect love. Here. Now.”

Maybe that is a good way to start a manual.

XoXo – From Praha with perfect expression of perfect love.

 

Next: chapter 4. The Princess is the Frog. A Winter Wonderland Tale.